Emotions. The things we feel and express on a daily basis. Some of those emotions stick around for longer periods of time, like when we say we’ve had a good year, or we’ve had a really bad and stressful two weeks. For me, I feel emotions very strongly, when I tell people I probably cry every other day, they are shocked. Not every time I cry it’s out of sadness though, sometimes it’s out of joy, anger, pride, or even relief. A few nights ago I finally hit submit for a class that had been my main source of stress for the last few months. The second after I hit submit, and stared at the word “complete”, I cried. A few tears of relief that I was finally finished and a few tears out of pride. So, emotions come and go, and some feel better than others, but today I wanted to touch on a few temporary emotions and how I feel about them.

TEMPORARY ANGER

Coming in hot…anger! The reason I started with this emotion was because anger was where I got the idea for this blog post. I was driving home and I got mad about the person in front of me going too slow. This is an emotion many of us drivers feel often, but for how long during the rest of your drive do you think about the person that beeped at you, or the person in front of you going too slow? Not long right? Obviously, it is different for each person, some people that overthink like me may think about the person who beeped at us for the rest of the day. However, by the next morning, I’ve come to think of other, more important things. So, at the end of the day, the anger is temporary. We get mad, curse out the other driver, and continue on with our day. The same thing happens in a lot of other places in our lives: fights with siblings, a bad test score, even the most minor action…stubbing your toe. All things that give you a moment of anger, and then you’re fine. My point is that the feeling is temporary, and it should be…or with anger, maybe it shouldn’t exist at all. Being all zen and calm can be a difficult thing for some of us to do, but there is so much time being wasted on pointless arguments and unnecessary spurts of anger. This could be time we could be focusing on our loved ones, our passions, and the things that make us happy. I know from experience how hard it is not to yell at my little brother for not flushing the toilet, or trying to get the last word in an argument. However, I’ve been asking myself lately before I do those things if it’s really that important because honestly, I end up feeling worse after arguing or yelling. I huff and puff upstairs and think about the argument for the rest of the night when I could have just avoided it altogether if I kept my mouth shut. So essentially what I’m telling you is this, ask yourself if that temporary anger is going to leave you or someone else permanently affected. No, no one else may hear you telling the driver that cut you off that they’re an asshole, but your mom may hear you say something more damaging; even if you don’t see it that way. You may not feel bad about saying something on the internet while you were angry, but the other person reading it may. So, shove away your pride and realize what is worth getting angry about. 

TEMPORARY PRIDE

Leaving off the last section mentioning pride, let’s discuss temporary validation. This is something that hits a little close to home because I am someone that used to have an issue with craving validation. I’m not ashamed to say I still kind of struggle with it, but at least it gives me some experience to speak on. The issue with validation is that most of the time it is in fact temporary. A few comments on Instagram, a good grade on a test, or someone saying they’re proud of you. Although a real-life compliment from someone you love is better than a hundred compliments from people online, both are still temporary, and I’ll tell you why. The only validation you should be craving is from yourself. Read that again, because, in reality, the only time that validation and sense of pride is going to stick with you for longer than a few hours is when you are the one giving the compliment. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am beautiful” because the compliments on your Instagram post will only fuel you for so long. You have to give yourself credit for working hard and getting your work done, validation from a teacher, or boss, or even a parent, is something you can’t rely on. You have to do things that make you feel excited and passionate because the distractions of parties and people are temporary. I understand how hard it is to reverse the thoughts in your brain that tell you that you need praise from others to feel better, but you don’t. I’m not saying that everything in this life has to be done by you and only you, friends and family are important, but the only person you can rely on at all times is yourself. Other people are unpredictable, they have their own stuff going on, but you…you know you the best, and that is why giving yourself credit and praise is so important. The validation from yourself turns temporary pride into permanent self love. 

TEMPORARY JEALOUSY

Jealousy, an emotion not many are keen to admit they feel, but we’ve all been there. Whether it’s jealousy over a relationship, a certain person, or something else, jealousy is something we don’t necessarily want to feel, but the feelings come without our permission. I’m not sure if you’ve listened to ‘jealousy, jealousy’ by Olivia Rodrigo, but I think the lyrics in that song are so on point. Let me just list a few and tell you how I feel about them.

“I know their beauty’s not my lack
But it feels like that weight is on my back”

Obviously, we all know what social media can do to insecurities, it magnifies them…a ton. In my experience, I can take a scroll through Instagram and say “wow she’s so pretty”, I’ll comment, and I know in my heart them being beautiful doesn’t make me any less beautiful, but we can’t help how we feel after a scroll through the socials. We can’t help but think we need to change something to feel more beautiful. As Olivia said, it feels like a weight on our backs. 

“Their win is not my loss
I know it’s true, but
I can’t help gettin’ caught up in it all“

Another one that just hits the spot. When we see someone doing something great, we’re proud of them, but then the jealousy creeps in. So yes, while we know it’s not true, we feel when someone else is winning, we’re automatically losing, and we need to do better.

“I wanna be you so bad and I don’t even know you
All I see is what I should be
Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy“

Okay, one last one even though the entire song is incredible. Not much commentary to add because it’s so straightforward, but I will say this. Lots of time, the jealousy we feel after we see things on Instagram, or at school, or wherever, it’s temporary. We feel that sting for a second and then we get distracted by something else. However, no matter if your jealousy is temporary or long-lasting, just know the things you are jealous about are most likely glamorized. Although they might be having fun in that video, and she probably does feel so pretty in that picture, no one is happy and perfect all the time. What I mean is don’t let someone else’s happiness or confidence make you feel less confident or happy, because chances are they have their moments of jealousy or sadness as well. 

TEMPORARY HAPPINESS

The last emotion I’d like to touch on is temporary happiness. For a lot of us, the goal at the end of the day is just to say we had a good day, a happy day. When I think about times I was happy, I can pick out a lot of things that made me that way: a drive full of laughs with my friends, a good meal with a delicious dessert, leaving a movie theater with that specific feeling. All of these things are great, but they are temporary. I hate to say they are distractions, but a lot of times I catch myself using them to distract me from other things that don’t make me as happy: a few hours of homework, responsibilities, or even just spending time with myself just thinking. Once I get home from that drive, I finished that amazing dessert, and the magic of the movie wears off; I’m forced to face what I was attempting to avoid. The happiness was only temporary. So, where does permanent, eternal happiness come from? When I think of the things that would bring me long-term happiness I think of love, success, and family. I’ve never been in a relationship, so I can’t really say I’ve ever been in love. Of course, I have my family and friends that love me, but it’s different. Success, like validation, I crave. In my eyes, I could be happy if I wasn’t so stressed out about my future and the accomplishments to come. I think the issue is that when I see happiness being a long-term thing, I see it happening in the future, something far away. I can’t see myself being completely happy now because the things I’m forcing myself to believe bring happiness are things like moving away to a city, falling in love, and accomplishing all my dreams. These are things that are down the road for me, and because of that I only see the things that are making me happy now as temporary. It’s a mindset I’ve created. Honestly, I’m still trying to find a way to fuel my own eternal happiness, but my advice for you is this: romanticize everything. Happiness is an emotion, but it’s also a mentality; a way of thinking. If you wake up today, go buy yourself Starbucks and some flowers you thought were pretty, you did something for yourself that made you happy. The love of your life didn’t do that for you, you did. Continue that day by doing things that make you feel excited and passionate. You were created to do things that make you happy, even with the obstacles life throws at you and the hard work it takes to accomplish the things you want. Even with hours the hard work, leave time in the day for passion. For me, it’s writing. When I write, I am happy, and not the kind of temporary happiness I was talking about, this is long-lasting. For you, it may be painting, or dancing, or whatever makes you passionate. So, although you may feel a void right now that you think something in the future needs to fill, attempt to create eternal happiness for yourself, right now. 

xoxo, megs