Confidence. Being confident in yourself. “Look how confident she is!” “How does he have so much confidence?” “How did they get so confident?” This word, this feeling, of being confident is thrown around quite a lot. But what does it really mean to be confident? How do you achieve a certain level of confidence? Everyone has probably struggled with confidence at one point in their life, maybe you still are, but loving yourself is SO important and I cannot stress that enough. Anyone who knows me probably would use the word confident to describe me, but it wasn’t always like that. When I was in middle school and the first half of high school, I was always worried about what other people thought about me. I was (and still am, unfortunately) a huge over thinker. After every interaction or conversation I had with someone, I would wonder if I said or did the right thing. There would also be days I woke up in the morning and wonder if I looked pretty enough. The truth is, confidence isn’t something you gain overnight, it’s a process for sure. So, the title of this blog post may come off as misleading, because there really isn’t a step by step guide or a how to post that is going to just magically make you confident. However, I am hoping this blog post will have some sort of impact on your life and how you view yourself.

SELF LOVE

Like I said, loving yourself is the first step to becoming confident. You may be surprised, shouldn’t loving yourself be the effect of confidence? No! In order to be confident with who you are, you HAVE to love who you are. Self love affirmations can be so helpful, even just looking yourself in the mirror once a day and saying “I love who I am” and “I love myself” can feel like instant satisfaction.

PASSION

I truly believe that one of the main things that helped me love myself was fashion. Fashion gave me a creative outlet to experiment with different clothes and accessories. When I finally put two and two together and realized my passion for writing and fashion could create this blog, I started to notice the changes within myself. Each time I would put an outfit together or publish a blog post, I was filled with pride and love. All of that love I felt for myself ended up creating that boost of confidence. My advice for you is, try and find something you’re passionate about that will make you fall in love with yourself. It doesn’t have to be as big as creating a blog or figuring out what you want to do for the rest of your life. It can be as small as getting a pet fish and building a friendship with it, or finding a small hobby that excites you. Passion is a very fueling emotion and can lead to self love for sure. I’ve noticed how confident this passion of mine has made me, and I hope your passions will do the same for you.

OPINIONS

Opinions. Everyone has them, whether they’re positive or negative. The issue with opinions is that a lot of times, they always seem to have an impact on us. As much as we can try to say we don’t care about what others think, sometimes it’s hard not to. As well as being an over thinker, I am also a people pleaser. Fantastic combination, am I right? Well, as much as this can be beneficial in life, it also negatively impacted how I viewed myself. I wanted to be liked so badly that I let a lot of my decisions be influenced by other people. Over the years I’ve learned how to change this, and I am proud to say that today my parents love to call me “Miss Independent” and my friends would probably say the same. The question still remains, how do you stop caring about what others think. My mentality is this: people are always going to have an opinion, it’s all about how you let that opinion impact you. If you wanted to, it could come and go through your brain in a matter of seconds, or it could stay there and you could dwell on it for hours. Once you flip that switch in your brain where you start to just not care, it is the most refreshing feeling in the world.

CHOICES

If you want to post that picture, do it. No one can stop you unless you let them. Chances are you’ll become a trendsetter. If you want to start a conversation with someone but you’re afraid to, go for it! Chances are that person will end up being one of your closest friends. These are the the good kinds of impulsive decisions. Decisions that will impact your life positively whether it’s just for a day or in the long run. Choices are what shape our lives, and if you go on with your life everyday afraid to make spontaneous choices, you won’t be actually living your life. You’re probably wondering, how does this relate to confidence? Trust me, it does. The minute you start making these choices without weighing the opinions of others, you’re going to feel confident with yourself instead of doubting yourself all the time. True confidence is when you can make a choice and stick to it without feeling the need to be reassured by everyone around you.

WRAPPING IT UP

Typically when we think of someone that radiates confidence, we immediately point to a celebrity or person of influence in today’s world of social media. Instead, why don’t we point to a friend or classmate or even yourself? You too can feel confident without all the glitz and glamor that is a celebrity’s life. Today, I can tell you that the best compliment I’ve ever received was not “you’re so pretty!” or “your body is gorgeous”, it’s “you are incredibly confident” or “I love your energy”. When I hear things like that, a smile is instantly put on my face because it’s not what’s the outside, it’s about what’s on the inside that makes people gravitate towards me. So moral of the story is, you can be whoever you want to be and you can do it right now. Show the world that you can be confident without needing their approval.

xoxo, megs