Growing up, I’ve always thought of myself as an over-thinker. I would constantly think about every action I did or something I said in a conversation. Overthinking tended to interfere with my daily life as it was either making me dwell on the past and worry about the future. Anxiety can be something caused by overthinking, and although I can’t quite say I’ve outgrown being an over-thinker, I’ve definitely learned how to deal with it.

DWELLING ON THE PAST

First, you have to understand how completely normal of a feeling this is. Don’t try to convince yourself your feelings aren’t valid because that’s your first mistake. In order to change the way you’re feeling, you have to address the feelings to begin with. Personally, I struggled with this kind of overthinking throughout middle school and in my earlier teenage years. I went through so many different friend groups that I was always worried about how I was acting or what I was saying. Everything I did seemed like a mistake and I was living in a world of regret. This kind of overthinking may seem difficult to get rid of, but I started by finding a good group of friends. When I finally found my three best friends at the end of my freshman year of high school, I finally felt like I could do/say things without feeling that pressure. However, even after I found those friends, I still caught myself thinking about the past. The issue with overthinking is at first it feels like you cannot control any of your thoughts, but that’s actually far from the truth. YOU are the only person that can change your thought process. If you’ve been blaming your excessive thoughts on another person, that’s where you have to start. It all starts with you. 

If you find yourself overthinking a situation, you have to take control. Turn this negative thought process into something positive. If it’s a problem, from past or present, that has you feeling this way, attempt to solve the problem in a healthy way rather than dwelling on the problem. If you’re thinking about yourself and your own mistakes, turn it into a moment of self-reflection. Make this moment have a purpose and instead learn something about yourself. The key is making this a healthy thinking process because although you may assume overthinking will get you somewhere, it won’t. Overthinking is like running circles around your mind without leaving any room for self-growth.

WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE

This one is a little bit more complicated than the last, well…at least it feels like it for me. In my own life, this is what I’m currently struggling with. All my thoughts are focused on what my future is going to look like, whether that’s in a year, five years, or ten. I’m constantly worried about how my actions today will affect my future self. This always ends up interfering with how I live my life day-to-day, and I never actually get to enjoy the present. Due to the unprecedented pandemic we are living through, it makes coming up with a future plan pretty difficult, which ultimately can make us more stressed about that future.

So the question remains, how have I been coping with these intrusive thoughts about my future? The answer is just reminding myself that I have minimal control. I can only change so much about my life, and most of that comes from working on who I am now, not worrying about who I am going to be in five years. I’ve been learning to focus on my present self and I do that by creating a routine that is organized, but flexible. I found if you set yourself a few goals at the beginning of the week and you try your best to get those done, you’ll feel that sense of pride by the end of the week. I like to workout every weekday, read a book each day for 10 minutes and work on my dream for 20 minutes a day. That last part is SUPER important so let me repeat it. Work on your dream for 20 minutes a day, whether that dream feels attainable or not, that dream is still valid. Therefore, you are working on your future, but not worrying about it.

All in all, changing your mindset when it comes to overthinking isn’t something you’ll be over to change overnight, in fact, you may not ever stop overthinking (like me). However, you can still change your attitude and turn that negative thinking process into something positive. Let that motivate you into being productive and working on your future rather than dwelling on it. My next “advice” post will talk more about motivation and how to deal with the lack of it while we are in a pandemic. If you have any topics you’d like me to write about, leave me a comment, email, or DM via Instagram @themissmegs.

xoxo, megs