In this generation, we’re finally getting to a point where we can embrace our differences. People are so proud to be unique and flaunt it. It’s so nice to feel like you have something that no one else does, or you like someone that no one else knows about.

Now, what happens if you like something popular? Are you considered a bandwagon? What happens if you don’t have the money to keep up with each new trend TikTok hops on. What happens when your favorite underground band finally gets their big break and all of sudden your friends like them too? What happens when you suddenly have no stand-out qualities?

Well, I should tell you nothing happens, you’re just like the rest of us. Sometimes you feel special, sometimes you feel like every other person you pass in the street. However, that’s not really the case in today’s world of social media. The minute you’re not as unique as the rest of the crowd, you’re labeled as basic. As soon as something gets popular, it’s overhyped. Honestly, it’s exhausting trying to keep up with everything, and all of a sudden even when you think you’re trying to stand out, you’re still trying to fit in. 

OPINIONS

Outside opinions are where I’m going to start since they’re one of the main reasons we tend to feel insecure and ordinary. Let me give you an example, one you’re probably all too familiar with. You wake up, scroll through TikTok, and see a video of someone sharing their music playlists, or their favorite outfits. When you open the comment section, all you see are comments like “your taste is so basic”, “everyone wears that”, or “you’re just a bandwagon”. The same goes for any other rude comment you come across, people online are ruthless, they don’t think before they leave a comment, and they don’t realize that although they won’t think about that comment for the rest of the day, the person receiving it will. In this generation where everyone is constantly trying to one-up each other, there can be some toxic superiority complexes. No, I don’t mean people who are confident and throw around that they have a god complex (me included), I mean the people who cannot understand that other people have their own lives with their own interests, and that doesn’t give you the right the sh!t on them for liking Taylor Swift or wearing Air Force 1s! Popular things become popular for a reason!

So, although we cannot change the world’s opinions, we can change how we receive those opinions. Stop caring what others think. Yes, you’ve heard this a trillion times, and no it is not a switch you can flip. It took me years to really stop focusing on what people might say if I did this or said this, but I promise you it is a game-changer. It is a choice! You do not have to listen to other’s opinions, you can listen to your own! The same thing goes for feeling embarrassed. It is a choice! From time to time, I’ll feel a little weird about something I said to a stranger, or a TikTok I posted, but overall I feel so much better knowing I really don’t care about how other people think of me. The only opinions that matter are the ones coming from those who care for you, adore you, and want the best for you, I promise they are out there somewhere. 

Opinions can be nasty, but they can only affect those who let them.

DO WHAT YOU WANT

I realize I’m mentioning TikTok a lot, but it’s very relevant. It’s actually quite fascinating to see how the social media platform influences everything we do. In the music industry, a song can go from nothing to something just because someone made a dance to it and now it’s viral. In retail, I’ve seen clothing items, makeup products, and so much more literally go out of stock just like that, because it went viral on TikTok. Of course, along with any other social media app, it can be a toxic place, but the impact it has on our world is crazy, and it can be a positive thing if we let it.

If we could just let people enjoy the things they like, and relish in the fact that we can still be different without trying to one-up one another, social media would be a better place. However, I understand we don’t live in a perfect world, so I’m going to give you the advice of just do whatever you want. 

Go get those jeans everyone has, they’re cute and YOU like them! Be proud of the fact that you found a new song, and share it on your Instagram story, don’t gatekeep good music people! Read that book or watch that show, even if people say TikTok overhyped it, form your own opinion! Just do things because you want them to, not because someone else does or doesn’t. Unique or “basic”, just understand you’re special in your own way- as cheesy as it sounds.

SONDER

Google defines sonder as “the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own“. Now, this was a tough pill for me to swallow, because although I may be giving you the advice that is, everyone is different in their own way, let them be without developing a major superiority complex, I struggled with it. I struggled with the idea that I may not be as special as I’ve let myself believe. I always thought growing up I was going to go far, do things no one else would do, or just be something great. When I used to think about myself, I thought “wow, so many people I know are just so boring compared to me”, which is wrong. I just didn’t know anything about them. When you pass people on the street, you don’t realize that they have their own story, they have their own stressors, relationship problems, and accomplishments. They have their own life, as do you. It’s weird to think how many people there are with special qualities, because then how are you special? What makes you different than the person you walked by on the street? What about the person behind you in the Dunkin’ line? What about the other person they interviewed?

I wish I could tell each and every one of you what makes you special, but I can’t because I don’t know you. However, I will tell you there is something. As much as you may not want to believe it, there is something different about you that is going to influence your future, whether that be in a career choice, a relationship, or just how you go about your day. You are special. You just need to realize that everyone else is too, each in their own way. 

WRAPPING IT UP

If you’re like me, you focus on the things you aren’t good at instead of spotlighting the things you are. You just have to be well-rounded. We are told this by parents, teachers, and colleges especially. Not only do you have to be smart, but you have to play sports or have a hobby, have a million extracurriculars, and also be beneficial to your community. It’s pretty stressful. For me, I’m terrible at math, it’s always been something I wished came easy to me. However, I loved writing, so English classes were much more enjoyable. However, I never thought I was truly smart because I was so bad at math. Lately, I’ve kind of just been pushing myself to focus on writing, since that’s what I want to do in my career. Honestly, you really only do the math in school to get to the next grade, to the next school. There are always going to be people to do the math, there are going to be crazy mathematicians that can solve the problems. I’ll just sit back and write some more. If I focus on the things that make me special, I won’t be so down about the things I’m not as good at.

So, I leave you with this: go about your day with the mindset that you don’t have to do something great to be something great. What I mean is, I always feel discouraged when I don’t check everything off of my to-do list, or just feel like I had a bad day. We all do. Let that motivate you to be even greater tomorrow. One day will come along where you actually do something great because you know you are great. You are special, and you will accomplish special things, but that doesn’t have to discredit the special things everyone around you is also going to do. 

Some of you may feel like the most gifted person in the room, the most intelligent, the most athletic, and while that may be true in that room, there is a world full of extraordinary people out there. Instead of limiting yourself to that room because you think you won’t be as special outside of it, go be great in a world of great. It’s possible. You don’t have to be ordinary in a world of extraordinary, but the choice is yours. 

xoxo, megs